That ClichΓ©d Covid Speech

I think we've all come to realise,During these past few months…The true value of face-to-face interaction, πŸ€”πŸ˜ As well as those other things in our lives which are important,And those which aren't, πŸ€”πŸ˜ And as a society we've been forced to confront… and to understand,Just how fragile our sense of normality,Even our mortality,And all of … Continue reading That ClichΓ©d Covid Speech

5G Fruitcake Stall

Oh the irony!5G back in the news again,5G equipment to be removed from UK network,Over privacy concerns with Huawei; This is just the start!You'll see!It's all fitting the theory perfectly! The coronavirus outbreak, caused by 5G signals,Just so happened to begin in China,Where Huawei is based! And now the government is banning Huawei 5G…It's done … Continue reading 5G Fruitcake Stall

Rollercoasters Of Death

Did you implement your height restriction?I hope you didn't let just anybody in! Did your designers do too good of a job?I hope you checked their qualifications! Did you forget to run the software simulation? Come on,I used to play Theme Park World on the computer,And even then I'd test-ride my rollercoasters first,I didn't want … Continue reading Rollercoasters Of Death

Day 825 β€” Stay Alive

Lockdown has become a way of life now,And we live in a totally-revamped culture,Replete with its own traditions,(We all agree not to kill each other on Christmas Day, for example); Society has reshaped itself,At great cost in lives,We can no longer support the prosperity,And the size of population which we once had; Even the currency … Continue reading Day 825 β€” Stay Alive

The Most Annoying Dad

Brace yourselves, kids,I've got bad news,β€”I think I may have coronavirus; 😨,Oh, no… Dad!How are you feeling? Not too bad at the moment,Don't worry,I'm going to confine myself to the study for the next three days,Just as a preliminary precaution;Now, I've done some calculations,And we should have enough supplies to last us for… 1,236 days. … Continue reading The Most Annoying Dad


Coronavirus creeping,Companies caving,Capitalists crying,Countries censoring; Cryptic calls creating chaotic confusion,Clowns, constantly contradicting, Celebrity cameos comprising composted clichΓ©s,Catacombs containing calcified crap; Cacophony, cringe,Comparison, chiding,Coded condescension,Candied colloquialisms, Clocks clicking,Cadavers collecting,C**ts cohorting,Cynics cracking! πŸŒͺ

New World Currency Conversions

Spare change β€” hand sanitiser,Fiver β€” sheet of own-brand value toilet paper (Morrisons Saver, Asda Smart Price...),Darwin β€” sheet of own-brand standard toilet paper,Pony β€” sheet of Andrex,Bullseye β€” sheet of scented toilet paper,Ton β€” wet wipe,Monkey β€” fresh roll of Ponies,Grand β€” box of tissues,Jackpot β€” unopened pack of wet wipes. πŸŒͺ