I Am Superhuman

I've lost a lot,I've really been hit by the lockdown,My growing network of friends and support was based around the charities which were helping me,Two of them had to stop because of the lockdown (and one has fallen out with me over a misunderstanding, which we cannot resolve because of the lockdown itself preventing me … Continue reading I Am Superhuman

I Will Overcome It The Bastard

Whyyy do I keep doing this,When my plan goes wrong at the start of the day,I went to sleep early but didn't expect to sleep that long,But I'd had to miss sleep the night before,So I could start getting up early again, Constantly correcting,Constantly adjusting,Rarely happy because of the constant changes,It's so frustrating; Just can't … Continue reading I Will Overcome It The Bastard

Encouragement

I could have done this earlier... No, I couldn't,Because I wasn't motivated to;Why wasn't I motivated to do it earlier? Because I'm lacking in social contact,And because I'm tired,And because dissociative anxious body tics have made even the most basic things difficult and stressful, never mind the OCD stuff too,And because I've been really lacking … Continue reading Encouragement

Captive

I've been held captive,In my own mind, And a crucial factor in moving onwards,Is to revel in the freedom,Of looking forwards; I've long been fascinated by other peoples' stories,Stories of people who have survived immense hardships,Who have survived long periods of isolation,And restriction of their freedoms; It's become conclusively clear to me,That recovery from past … Continue reading Captive

Freefall From Chaos

There's a metaphor there,In Baumgartner's jump from space... In the way that it begins in darkness,A vacuum and a void,Big blue Earth below,Which you are no longer a part of; Then a decision is made,Fuck it, I'm coming home; Freefall begins,Spectacular acceleration ensues,Falling, tumbling, spinning out of control,It's no longer a laughing matter, Feeling like … Continue reading Freefall From Chaos

Rejuvenation And Light

One of the greatest gifts that nature's given us,Is a wealth of abstract art; Now,I'm somebody who's terrible with metaphors,But even I can see the metaphors here... And what could be more symbolic and evocative,Than a glowing supernova remnantβ€” Darkness in destabilising tensions,And impending core implosion,Violence through the unleashing of energies,Expressive and destructive, Darkness in … Continue reading Rejuvenation And Light

The Hopeful Delusion

I had an encouraging conversation,With a mental health person, I'd met her at the mental health hospital in November,During an acute crisis period, And since the police contacted the hospital,(This is pretty raw stuff πŸ˜†),She's been back in touch, including by email! She is joint-best, if not the best,Amongst the mental health professionals I've encountered, … Continue reading The Hopeful Delusion